Homemade Drunken Fruitcake Recipe
This is Not Your Grandma's Fruitcake Urban Legends & Fruitcake Jokes
Forget the holiday fruitcake jokes. How to make delicious moist fruitcake full of butter, brown sugar, spices, brandy and rum soaked fruits and nuts. Save money too!
This is not the typical store bought fruitcake. It is loaded with alcohol and should be kept away from small children and pets. Do not send one of these fruitcakes to your child's teacher or the pastor. It is however, one of the most delicious and moist fruitcakes you will ever taste. Wrap one up in colored cellophane and ribbons and send one to impress the boss.
Fruitcake Jokes
Everyone has heard the fruitcake jokes. They're heavy as bricks, used as doorstops, aircraft wheel chocks and railroad ties. "Nutty as a fruitcake" is a derogatory term meaning nut-job or completely insane. "In the United States, the fruitcake has been a ridiculed dessert. Some blame the beginning of this trend with Tonight Show host Johnny Carson. He would joke that there really is only one fruitcake in the world, passed from family to family" says Wikipedia. "Ask The Fruitcake Lady" starring Marie Rudisill was a popular feature on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. This eventually lead to her book "Ask the Fruitcake Lady: Everything You Would Already Know If You Had Any Sense" by Marie Rudisill, Hyperion (November 1, 2006).
Forever Fruitcake ~ An Urban Legend
Stories have been told of "forever fruitcakes" that are many years old and have gone through the entire family and then some. The giver ends up getting the same fruitcake back 10-20 years later. The term regifting would definitely apply to fruitcakes. Nobody ever eats them. It's an urban legend.
Fruitcakes Around the World
Most American fruitcakes are traditionally heavy with fruit and nuts. German fruitcakes are called Stollen and are coated in powdered sugar. The Italian versions are called Panettone and Panforte. Other European fruitcakes are generally lighter, moister and are rich in butter, fruit and alcohol and sometimes iced. Some small companies and local bakeries still soak their fruitcakes in alcohol, and are rather tasty.
Mail order companies include: Collin Street Bakery since 1896, Grandma's Fruit Cakes since 1900, Claxton Fruit Cake since 1910, Assumption Abbey Fruitcake (Trappist Monks) since 1950.
The Recipe: Drunken Fruitcake
Ingredients:
- 7 cups unbleached white flour
- 1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon, ground
- 1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
- 1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
- 1 1/2 tsp. salt
- 1 tsp. cloves, ground
- 1 tsp. nutmeg, ground
- 2 cups pecans, chopped
- 2 cups apricots, chopped
- 1 cup prunes chopped
- 1 cup candied pineapple
- 2 cups dried cranberries or craisins
- 2 cups raisins
- 1 1/2 cups golden raisins
- 1 1/2 cups butter, softened
- 2 cups brown sugar
- 3 large eggs
- 1 cups applesauce
- 1/4 cup brandy
- 1/4 cup dark rum
- 1/3 cup brandy
- 1/3 cup dark rum
Directions:
- Combine all dry ingredients in large bowl, set aside.
- Chop pecans in a food processor, set aside.
- Chop apricots, prunes, pineapple and cranberries in a food processor.
- Mix all fruits and nuts together and set aside.
- Cream butter and sugar in large mixing bowl.
- Add eggs one at a time, beating each time.
- Beat in applesauce and 1/4 cup each of brandy and rum.
- Mix all ingredients together except the last 1/3 cup each of brandy and rum.
- Pour into 5 greased 9"x5" disposable loaf pans.
- Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes and rotate pans.
- Bake for an additional 45 minutes or until knife comes out clean.
- Remove from pans and let cool completely. Wash pans and dry.
- Mix the remaining brandy and rum together in measuring cup with spout.
- Return fruitcake to pans and pour an equal amount of alcohol over each fruitcake.
- Wrap and set aside until someone is ready to eat it!
Makes 5 large loaves.
Resources: collinstreet.com, grandmasfruitcake.com, claxtonfruitcake.com, trappistmonks.com
